Dating has fallen out of favour in Melbourne. Photo: Angela Wylie
Dating is dead in Melbourne, according to the city's relationship experts, who say Melburnians prefer to "hook up" than go on a romantic date.
Tomorrow night, a panel of dating and relationship experts will argue that compared to many other cities around the world, Melbourne's dating scene "barely exists".
Rather, they say we typically meet prospective partners in bars and clubs or via chance meetings through friends or at work.
Event organiser, Amir Nissen, who recently launched online app — 7pmanywhere.com, which is modelled on the 1980s TV dating show, Perfect Match, says: "There does seem to be more of a hook-up culture here where you go to a bar, get drunk, and see what happens. I don't know too many people who are going on dinner dates or anything too formal."
Panelist, Sarah Harrison, a single, 31-year-old blogger, aka Little Miss Melbourne, believes Melbourne's strong bar culture, combined with the Aussie males' casual attitude to dating, means many singles instead rely on chance encounters.
"I have also lived in London and I found that British men were much more willing to go and chat to a girl and ask them on a date, whereas Aussie guys tend to shy away from that a little bit," she says.
Fellow panellist Liam McRae, a dating and social freedom coach, who mentors men in the art of dating, is trying to change that. He says while many Melbourne men have no trouble flirting in a bar after a few drinks, they are often afraid to do so elsewhere.
"The main thing we focus on is teaching men how to meet a woman anywhere – on the street, in a coffee shop, in a bookstore," says McRae who works for The Natural Lifestyles.
"I think a lot of men are afraid of coming across as creepy or being rejected but what a lot of them don't realise is that a lot of women are looking to meet a guy they click with and would love to have a guy come up and say, 'hey, would you be interested in getting to know me better?'
"We find that women are really impressed when we've coached a guy to approach them when he's not drunk. It shows a lot of confidence and bravery."
Harrison also believes that if dating is ever going to take off in Melbourne it requires a shift in attitude.
"I think people have to realise that dating isn't this big serious thing. It should be fun. I think there's this perception from the guys that the girls just want to find a husband, settle down and have children and the girls think the guys only want one thing. But it can just be about going out and having a drink and enjoying yourselves, you don't have to sleep with anyone or get married."
Melbourne's casual attitude to dating might also explain why when location-based dating app, Blendr, launched late last year, Melburnians adopted it faster than any other city in the world.
The app enables users to check their smartphones and then text other users within a few hundred metres and meet up for a spontaneous drink within minutes.
Despite the growing popularity of online dating, the experts also believe Melburnians have been slower than many other cities to get on board.
"Again, I think because of our bars and things perhaps we rely on it less," says Harrison. "When I lived in Perth, for example, online dating was a lot bigger and I think that had to do with it being a bit quieter. There was less opportunity to just randomly meet new people when you were out and about in the city."
Nissen says only 20 per cent of Australia's 10 million singles have used online dating compared to 40 per cent of America's 100 million singles.
*Does Melbourne Have a Dating Culture will be held tomorrow at the Loop, 23 Meyer Place, City, from 6.30-8.30pm.
For more information, visit: datingculture.eventbrite.com.au
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